When We Disagree, by Gary Coffee

When conflict arises in a family, we all know that avoiding it is not a helpful conflict management strategy. In the same way, when there is conflict in the family of God, it is much better to talk about it than it is to avoid it. Certainly, issues of sexuality have caused conflict in the family of our Episcopal Church. Rather than avoiding the discussion, is it possible that the love of Christ is strong enough and compelling enough to more than hold us together when we experience conflict? We know that it is.

In I Corinthians chapter 5:14, St. Paul writes, “The love of Christ urges us on, because we are convinced that one has died for all; therefore all have died.” The love of Christ which indwells every one of us “urges us on.” This love keeps us from holding back when we need to be working together. It urges us on to find, to acknowledge and to preserve the unity that we have in Christ Jesus.

In thinking about this, I was reminded of the many “one another” references in The New Testament. We are called to “love one another with mutual affection; to outdo one another in showing honour.” (Rom. 12:10) We sing that renewal song, “They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love.” We sing it, but is it so? Will we decide to love one another with mutual affection even when we disagree? Can we possibly outdo one another in showing honor when you think one way about an issue and I think another? With God’s help, we can.

In I Corinthians 12, St. Paul reminds us that we are all parts of the body of Christ. Using the analogy of a human body, he talks about how one part of the body cannot reject another part. He writes, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” We don’t reject family members because we disagree with them. Neither can we reject each other in the Body of Christ when we disagree. Rather, as aggravating as it may be, we are called to “Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Col. 3:13) St. Paul goes on to say, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.” (Col. 3:14-15)

“Clothe yourselves with love.” When you and I are clothed with love, we are in synch with Christ in such a way that we tend to lay down our weapons. When we’ve laid down our weapons, then we can try and understand where persons are coming from whose understanding of God differs from ours.

Don't Panic, by Rick Lawler

So what would help us in our discussion of human sexuality as a Church? I’m assuming we all love God and seek God’s will. Something along those lines is the beginning. But it is clear well-meaning committed people can come to mutually exclusive conclusions regarding God’s will.

Gregory of Nanzianzus

So the next step is knowing ourselves and being true to ourselves. What has God said to us through scripture and experience? What has God revealed to us through our prayer and relationships? I think we need to be true to that whether it places us on the left, right, middle, or all of the above. We must speak our truth without fear. If we’re convinced God’s will is for the full acceptance and inclusion of Gay folks in the Church we need to live out that truth. If we’re convinced the Bible reveals gay people as somehow living an inherently sinful life we need to live out the implications of that truth. We must speak that truth without fear.

The questions that then arise are:

• Can we agree to disagree?
• Can we love our opposite-minded brothers and sisters and accept they have different perceptions of truth?
• Can we work together to follow and serve Christ in honest debate where necessary and dialogue where possible?
• Or is it time for some of us to leave?
• Or all the above?

I guess I don’t see the present issues as anything unusual for the Church. The Church has always struggled to articulate the faith. The Church has always had lots of different answers to essential questions. We’ve sometimes been able to stay together and sometimes had to let go and strike out in a different direction from our brothers and sisters. The mystery of the Church will survive, even if the particular form of the Church we have known changes, even dramatically.

I remember reading somewhere the idea that Gregory of Nazianzus with his fourth century eyes would have found the twelfth century Church of Francis of Assissi in some ways incomprehensible. Francis would likewise struggle with many aspects of Luther’s sixteenth century Church who would not know what to do with twenty-first century Christians. (Did I get those centuries even close?) But the point is we’re always changing and we need not panic because of the changes we are struggling with.

Maybe that’s my real sense of the way forward. First, don’t panic! Trust God to be with us all, through it all, in it all. Trust the Spirit to lead us even if we’re lead in different directions. How enormous that early split between Paul and the Jerusalem Christians must have felt. One branch died and another flourished. But does anything ever really die? Isn’t every death a seed going down into the ground to be raised by God into something else? So this is my thought. There’s nothing to be afraid of, don’t panic.