When We Disagree, by Gary Coffee

When conflict arises in a family, we all know that avoiding it is not a helpful conflict management strategy. In the same way, when there is conflict in the family of God, it is much better to talk about it than it is to avoid it. Certainly, issues of sexuality have caused conflict in the family of our Episcopal Church. Rather than avoiding the discussion, is it possible that the love of Christ is strong enough and compelling enough to more than hold us together when we experience conflict? We know that it is.

In I Corinthians chapter 5:14, St. Paul writes, “The love of Christ urges us on, because we are convinced that one has died for all; therefore all have died.” The love of Christ which indwells every one of us “urges us on.” This love keeps us from holding back when we need to be working together. It urges us on to find, to acknowledge and to preserve the unity that we have in Christ Jesus.

In thinking about this, I was reminded of the many “one another” references in The New Testament. We are called to “love one another with mutual affection; to outdo one another in showing honour.” (Rom. 12:10) We sing that renewal song, “They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love.” We sing it, but is it so? Will we decide to love one another with mutual affection even when we disagree? Can we possibly outdo one another in showing honor when you think one way about an issue and I think another? With God’s help, we can.

In I Corinthians 12, St. Paul reminds us that we are all parts of the body of Christ. Using the analogy of a human body, he talks about how one part of the body cannot reject another part. He writes, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” We don’t reject family members because we disagree with them. Neither can we reject each other in the Body of Christ when we disagree. Rather, as aggravating as it may be, we are called to “Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Col. 3:13) St. Paul goes on to say, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.” (Col. 3:14-15)

“Clothe yourselves with love.” When you and I are clothed with love, we are in synch with Christ in such a way that we tend to lay down our weapons. When we’ve laid down our weapons, then we can try and understand where persons are coming from whose understanding of God differs from ours.